its been more than a month....... 2 days ago marks exactly 1 month you left us..... i was crying so so hard in my office that dorothy came over to give me a hug... and someone went to inform beloved.... he came running into my room... but i couldnt stop.... i thought i had it all out.. but no.... the pain is still there...... even when eric the manager came in, he had a shocked.. and quickly left us alone.... i really couldnt help it......... no one will ever understand the pain i'm goin thru unless the same thing happen.... but then again... you might say he's ONLY my brother.. not my parents or my lover.... i'll beat the life out of those whoever dares to say that.... the love me and my bro shared was a 21 years kinda thing.... frm the first day he laid his eyes on me, he showered nothing but tlc.. just for me........ i kept crying throught out the whole day... even when i'm home.. i dreaded 7.30pm..... the only small consolation was that my mama, deb and me dreamt of him on that morning.... this is really a frecking tough time.... and like i said.. if this is a nightmare.. i really wish i can wake up soon...........