Serendipity

Although reality is cruel and life has to go on, please know that i will never forget you and all that i have learnt from you, one way or another. I am ever grateful that you are once and forever my brother-in-law and that my sister has met someone as good as you.

It has definitely been hard on my sister but i know, that you will never leave her and that you are both knitted tightly by the bond you share which nothing can separate. Eujin kor kor please let my sister know that she has strength & support from you and loved by you. Be there for her in times of sorrow and need and i'm sure she will feel you there, just right beside her. Keep her safe and strong to go on and help her pick up the pieces along the way and carry on with this life with you, for you.

I'm sure you have completed, to the best of your abilities your mission on earth, and the result, is my brave sister and all those lives you've touched, including mine. Everyone is so proud of you and so am i. You must be happy with all the good you've done and all the love and humilty you've brought to others during this period.

You have been a teacher, a brother, a friend and someone to look up to and a role model to me since the age of 7 and it has never been otherwise. Thinking of you now still brings tears to my eyes but the thought of the great impact you left on us is comforting thought to counter. Although i've never actually said it, but as xuelin jie jie said, you are a role model to me too and i will work hard in life just to be like you.

Love, Denise.

To The Top Trainee of HQ ARMCEG Spec Bridging Course 2000

You're one of my NS mates.. And it's sad to find out that the first piece of news I hear about you since we left army is this..

You're a man who i knew as smart with a great sense of humour.. not to mention great humilty as well.. You treated people with great respect and I'm sure i'm not the first from our specialist corp to post here.. I'm sure we'll all remember you that way..

You were the best in our batch.. A leader you always were.. and lead by example you did...

I wish the people closest to you well.. And can only pray that with each passing day that their hurt will lessen.. but that your memory and your legacy will never fade..

One of your favourites

"Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T
============================

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

This song was one of Eu Jin's favourite songs to me.. and he often asked me if he could try changing the name "Delilah" to "Debbie" when he sang it to me.. But it sounded weird because it was a three syllabus changed to a two syllabus. We had a good laugh and he gave up trying.. It was one of those really bitter sweet moments I had with him.

One Sunday when I was having lunch with friends at Cafe Cartel in Tampines Mall..My friends Dan and Char were chatting so happily about overseas trip when I heard this song over the radio.. I was trying very hard to hold back my tears, but the more I heard this song.. The more it brought back the sweet memories.. I teared uncontrollably..

I miss you so much Darling, and I know you're still around.. somehow.

Debbie

Thank you Darling..

Thank you Darling for the dream you gave me last night.

I am happy to be able to hold your arms again like I always did and look into your eyes like always. Thank you for the words you spoke to me last night..I feel the same towards you..

Thank you for the dinner we had last night.. I enjoyed myself at the two buffets with you even though it was only for a short while, it was already more than enough for me.

I have been hearing this song on the radio.. and somehow I grew attracted to it. And I am dedicating it to you.. It's strange.. I searched for the lyrics and I realised how much it could relate to the both of us.

THE FIRST TIME (Surface)
-----------------------------
You know I won't forget
The time we shared together holding hands
And walking in the park
Sometimes we'll have to do it all again
We were so happy then
I have no regret

Can you tell from the look on my face
that I love you more today

Chorus
The first time I look into your eyes I cried
Do you remember the first time
We fell in love
You look into my eyes wiped the tears away
The first time
When we fell in love

Although sometime has passed
I still remember just like it was yesterday
The time is moving fast
The love I have for you
Time won't ever change
I'll always feel the same
Now until the end

Memories we've shared will live forever
Deep inside my heart I know I'll never fall again


I still love you more and more each and every day Darling.. See you in my dreams.
Debbie

A blog, a facebook, a love that transcend heaven and earth...

Come across this BLOG in the morning,
Touching and heart breaking.

A life is not lost when end,
A love is which entrench even deeper when lost,
A call which make friendships even stronger when gone,
A lifeblog which make humans to remember to treasure your loved one when around.


Remembering live and love to the fullest each day...

its been more than a month....... 2 days ago marks exactly 1 month you left us..... i was crying so so hard in my office that dorothy came over to give me a hug... and someone went to inform beloved.... he came running into my room... but i couldnt stop.... i thought i had it all out.. but no.... the pain is still there...... even when eric the manager came in, he had a shocked.. and quickly left us alone.... i really couldnt help it......... no one will ever understand the pain i'm goin thru unless the same thing happen.... but then again... you might say he's ONLY my brother.. not my parents or my lover.... i'll beat the life out of those whoever dares to say that.... the love me and my bro shared was a 21 years kinda thing.... frm the first day he laid his eyes on me, he showered nothing but tlc.. just for me........ i kept crying throught out the whole day... even when i'm home.. i dreaded 7.30pm..... the only small consolation was that my mama, deb and me dreamt of him on that morning.... this is really a frecking tough time.... and like i said.. if this is a nightmare.. i really wish i can wake up soon...........

Thanks for being my friend

Eu Jin was my classmate in NYJC. Though we are not close friends, I remember the times:

• when we were grouped together by Ms Tay to do a class presentation on descriptions and you sabo-ed me to present the benefits of "byford briefs" to the class
• you and yu cheng's presentation on law and order for GP had the class rolling with laughter over "law net grey grey" - a direct translation from the chinese idiom
• when the class sabo-ed you during your birthday by hiding your pants after PE so that you had no choice but to wear the school skirt for the rest of the day
• when you and debbie got lobang for kathy and me to sell taiwanese snacks together after 'A' levels as holiday job. The 4 of us stank up bus number 24 after our packing of smelly beancurd in the factory. It was a fun experience working at the Expo with you, debbie and kathy.

It did not seem that long ago that I went to your house to celebrate your 18th birthday, or seeing you and debbie at the MacRitchie Trail in April this year. I was with my husband at that time and both of you ran past me. I remembered thinking "Wah, this couple so fit and loving to do a morning run at MacRitchie together". I remembered nudging my husband at that time that we should follow what "the couple was doing", as both of us have put on so much weight.

Then, I was so surprised to realise that "the couple" was you and debbie. I remembered asking both of you what you are working as and when are you going to invite me to the wedding dinner. You said next year and that you'll invite me. I didn't know then that both of you had ROM-ed. I didn't even get to say my congratulations.

It's such a shock to receive the bad news one month ago.

I didn't know what to say to you as I offered you my last respect. So I just mumbled "Thank you for being my friend". I wish I could have said more with coherence. And I'm ashamed to say that I could have made more effort to know you as a friend better.

You've made me realise (after 26 years of living), the fragility of life. Knowing your achievements and outlook in life through the postings in this blog and the newspaper article is a wake-up call for me to stop "floating about aimlessly". It made me treasure those around me more.

Thank you for the lesson.

Thank you for being my friend.

- Sharon, NYJC 2S7A 1998-1999

a month

it's been a month since you left us..................

i cried countless times today... if we were to go on the trip on 5th dec, we will be meeting you tonight..... but...........

if this is a frecking nightmare, i really wanna wake up now...... not only deb...

xue also died on nov 13.........

Hi Dear

Yesterday's my birthday. Tomorrow's exactly a month since you last left us. Today's my best friend's wedding. I simply couldn't bring myself to work. This is too much for me to bear..I have always looked forward towards birthdays, weddings and anniversaries. But not this time. After what had happened, birthdays will never be the same again. Weddings might be cruel to me.. Anniversaries will be looked at from a totally different perspective.

Up till today, I sometimes still imagine and dream that you are overseas. It still feels like yesterday when I went over to Shanghai with you..I remember we took the Cathay Pacific plane and transited in Hong Kong, then to Pudong Airport. At that time, I would never have imagined it would have been our last plane ride together. I remember we reached the Hong Kong Airport, and we were so hungry...we put our stuff in the hotel..and went out in search of food..We had Aji-Sen Noodles together..I would have never imagined it would be our last time eating noodles together..

I remember us going to "Tao Bao" in Shanghai to buy cheap imitation stuff..We liked the place so much, we went back there two or three times within that one week that I was there, and kept buying bags and clothings for both our families..I remember distinctively you liked this leather brown Dunhill bag so much we had to bargain so long for it..And you kept using me as shield saying "Wo de Lao Po shuo tai gui, bu rang wo mai.."(My Wife says it's too expensive, and wouldn't let me buy...), then like usual, we would pretend to leave the shop and the prices would be slashed to our preferred price..We got the bag in the end. I could see how pleased you were with getting the bag, that you were practically smiling from ear to ear. I was really happy to see you smiling like that. After all our purchases, we would go back to the hotel room, and lay all our gifts and presents on the bed and compare to see who bought the nicest stuff at the best bargain. I miss all of that..

I remember the day when we had to travel from Shanghai to Suzhou to choose your apartment in Suzhou.. we travel to so many places to finally select the apartment you were stayin at. It was a beautiful "studio-like" apartment with 3 bedrooms, a huge fish tank, a small kitchen, a balcony and a solid hi-fi system. We both fell in love with the apartment.. somehow without saying much to each other, I knew in my heart that you would definitely choose this apartment. You did, like expected. I was looking forward to going over with my grandma, and then my parents to visit you in Dec and stay in that apartment with you. You would have been our tour guide as planned.. You would have brought us to many places of interest in Suzhou and Shanghai as planned. You would have brought us to where you usually hang out and eat as planned..

Yet, that day when I went to your apartment.. I dragged myself there. I feared to see what I saw. Your TV and laptop was still on, with so many msn messages from so many friends and your sister. In your sister's msn message to you, she was asking you to reply her msn message. In my heart, I wish you could too. I really wished you could. But this time, Xuelin had to be disappointed by her brother. It seemed like you were only going for a short gym workout, and a swim and then you would be back answering all those msn messages. I replied to some of the msn messages for you..and changed your nick to " I have passed on to somewhere greater and better... Please pray for me.". Many of your friends were shocked.. some had though I was lying..I went into the toilet and looked into the washing machine and saw familiar half-washed clothes. I took your clothes out from the washing machines and couldnt believe that you havent come back to continue washing your clothes.

I went into your room, saw a badminton racket and the familiar Dunhill bag on your bed, and I just cracked. You have barely used the bag for two months now..and the bag was left abandoned on your bed. I climbed onto your bed, and just laid there frozen crying and screaming uncontrollably at what has happened. I just couldnt believe it. It was just yesterday when we were talking about your gym workout and swims.. and how you would push yourself to improve the weights you were lifting. I didnt want to leave.. I wanted to be where you were..just yesterday. I cried so much, I couldnt see anyone around me. My tears just blocked my vision.. I wanted it to remain that way.. I didn't want to face reality. And I really wished you could have taken me with you there and then. My world has crashed when I got the phonecall that night. And I had died together with you.

The next few days in Suzhou/Shanghai was terrible.. We had to choose your favourite clothes, jacket, pants, shoes, watch..I told Da-ge that you always liked to shine your shoes.. and he did it for you.. They were bright and shiny I swear..I know if you were here.. you would have jumped around and said " Da-ge bang wo cha wo de chou xue zi" (Brother helped me to shine my smelly shoes), but I believe.. Da-ge would have done it a million times for you if you would have only given him one more chance..We had to go to the pool where it happened.. We had to keep signing papers with your name on it to get you home. We had wanted to get you home so badly. Home, where we all were.. where Da-sao and Xuelin were waiting anxiously. Home where all our beautiful memories really were. Home where you can finally rest after a long journey.

I remember when I left for Singapore the last time in September.. We had taken the Maglev train..We took our last photos together..When we reached Shanghai Airport.. we had our last drink and coffee together after checking in. It was my first time taking a plane ride by myself, and I was crying and tearing.. not because I was afraid.. but because I missed you already. If I had known that that would have been our last look, last touch, last kiss and last hug together.. I would have gladly missed my plane that time. I would have chosen to stay in Suzhou to be with you and forgo everything else. I remember running for my plane coz I entered the gates at the very last minute..and there was a queue and stuff..only so that I could spend a few more moments with you.. I never regretted running for that plane. We had managed to spend our last few moments being physically together.

In Shanghai for the second time, I couldnt wait to get home.. where we were at then was terrible..I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, practically couldn't be of help. I seemed like a vegetable deep inside of me..

Darling..please be here for me. You have told me that although you are not near, you will always miss me and that you will be a call away. You also said that we would walk through all our problems together hand-in-hand. I trust you. So I believe that you will be nearby.. somehow..

My parents got me a dog.. A Siberian Husky for my birthday..She's an apricot beige and only 4 months old..If you were here, I bet you would have loved her.. We would have gone to the park and jogged together with her every weekend when you are back in March next year. I called her " Courage". I hope to find my courage through her and live strong for you Darling.

I still love you as much as ever.. maybe more than ever..and more and more with each passing day. Be strong too Darling.. when I finish my race on earth.. I hope to see you at the other end..still waiting and cheering for me.

I would still want to be your wife in my next, next, next life.. For as many times as possible.. even if I had to relive all these pain again, I would. Even if it's for a day, I would.

We had promised to run the marathon next year together when you get back..and to finish it hand in hand. I will continue this race myself, with you beside me.. I will wear your ring and mine together, and I promise to finish our race together "hand-in-hand" this time. I will run this race for you and for our families..I may cramp up along the way, my knees may hurt along the way, my heart may pound uncontrollably, tears may roll down my cheeks as I think about you along the way..I may feel like giving up along the way.. But I won't. Coz I want to see you at my finishing line. Please wait for me Darling.. I promise not to take too long..But I will need to finish my chores here on earth first before I go.

Though we have never gone through our customary wedding.. I now have two grandparents, four parents, two brothers, one sis-in-law and two sisters. I will help you to take care of them on your behalf like you always tell me too.. Rest in peace Darling. Leave the chores here on earth for us.


I love you.
Debbie

Farewell Eujin

Rest well my fren, till we meet again...

-Derrick aka Limpeh

NTU Canoeing Team '03-'05

my thoughts

after going to my uni's enrolment exercise, i cant think of anything but you and HD(high dist)... you have been my inspiration since my poly days and will continue to be in my coming uni days..... i thought of you everyday... seeing all those CF6 engine manuals on my table when i first came back to work after your funeral, i broke down..... and my heart breaks a little more every time the bus passes by GE building.... i dread coming to work every morning... i was so proud to let those ppl know that my bro works in GE... esp when they know that you are on that management program, they will give me that Woah face and proceed to ask me "your bro is a first class ar?" to which i'll give a very proud "ya"..... i'm still so proud of you.... everyone knows my bro... but working in the rivel company is not easy for me... seeing things that are related to you everyday is enough to kill me...... because they keep reminding me of my lost.... they kept reminding me that i lose part of my heart......

i miss you so much..........
maomei...

miss you sooo much.......

maomei

From Da Ge

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Bridge:If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with gladness
And love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brotherHe ain't heavy,
He's my brother

My Brother

As we grow older, memories start to fade...

However over the weeks, faded images just keep coming back...

The times when we spent running around Blk 123 back at Jurong. The first time you join me as a Pri 1 in Jurong Town Pri Sch.... Not sure why but we start to drift apart when I join Sec.

No time for kids games I guess.

I was entering adulthood when you were leaving adolescence. Witnessed the puppy love you shared with Debbie and it grew to a serious relationship over time. You carried our parents hopes and lighten the expectation on me as you cheong for honours. Though I never express it, was grateful for diverting the pressure as I was never the high flyer and satisified with maintaining status quo.

If I had know the call from you on my wedding is the last conversation, I will never put down the phone. I had so much to share with you... had thought of lots of ways to bridge the gap between us...

I was the loner in the family, always keeping my thoughts and feeling to myself. Till now, I still cannot come to terms that you are not around anymore. I promise you I will take care of everyone in the family, even Debbie. You have worked hard and deserve a rest liao.

Well... You have reach end point liao. Just wait for me there. Like I said, I am not a High Flyer but I will have results and achievement to show you.

If there is a next life, let's be brothers again. I will paved the way like I always been so that you can learn from my mistakes.

From your Da Ge.