Thinking of holding his hand again will make me smile. I never knew something so simple like that could be so difficult to do now. But, I believe he’s very, very alive in my heart, and he will be the most precious that has ever happened in my life. My best friend and my hubby.
And I am glad that god gave me a chance with him in this lifetime. Even though it was only for a short while, it was a wholesome experience.
I told myself yesterday, I will accept this change and change my life from now. My life is different and I accept it. I will do things differently from now. A lot of things have been changed by this episode, and I will change my mindset, outlook of life. Things are not the same anymore, but it’s a different kind of experience that whoever gave to us wants us to experience. So I will accept this and be strong. I will not want to live in the past anymore. I want to remember the past, but not live in it. So I will change a lot of things from now. I will adapt to my new life. And remember him in my own sweet way.
It doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore, or that I am forgetting him. But I know he will want me to go on, live his dream, do what I want to do in life and most importantly, be happy. And smile. He hated to see me cry, he always told me, how he feels sad whenever he sees me cry and how it breaks his heart. I have broken his heart so many times when I cry, and I don’t want to do it again. I want to show that I love him and treasure his words by living strong and happy, and remembering him like he was..happy and always moving forwards despite all the difficulties he encountered during his life. He may have grumbled from time to time, but everytime he completed something, he always did it with a bang. I want to be like him. I want to grow to be like him. That’s how I can make him alive. I live in him and he lives in me, in this way.
And I am glad that god gave me a chance with him in this lifetime. Even though it was only for a short while, it was a wholesome experience.
I told myself yesterday, I will accept this change and change my life from now. My life is different and I accept it. I will do things differently from now. A lot of things have been changed by this episode, and I will change my mindset, outlook of life. Things are not the same anymore, but it’s a different kind of experience that whoever gave to us wants us to experience. So I will accept this and be strong. I will not want to live in the past anymore. I want to remember the past, but not live in it. So I will change a lot of things from now. I will adapt to my new life. And remember him in my own sweet way.
It doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore, or that I am forgetting him. But I know he will want me to go on, live his dream, do what I want to do in life and most importantly, be happy. And smile. He hated to see me cry, he always told me, how he feels sad whenever he sees me cry and how it breaks his heart. I have broken his heart so many times when I cry, and I don’t want to do it again. I want to show that I love him and treasure his words by living strong and happy, and remembering him like he was..happy and always moving forwards despite all the difficulties he encountered during his life. He may have grumbled from time to time, but everytime he completed something, he always did it with a bang. I want to be like him. I want to grow to be like him. That’s how I can make him alive. I live in him and he lives in me, in this way.
"The Lord needed one more angel.
So he called for you that day."
Debbie
So he called for you that day."
Debbie
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