I'm missing you once again. Every i pen something down in this blog, tears never stop rolling down my cheeks. Tears of despair and desperation, as well as the heartache that comes along with it in realization that we will never meet again. 'Till death do us part' is a painful reality that a person can never understand until you lose someone extremely dear to you. And I have. You were the world to me. You were my everything and my all. I wish I had more years with you. I wished I could give you half of whatever years that I had left so we would die together at the same time, and need not feel the pain of losing one another. Yes. I really do miss you. My new life and my new family keeps me busy and keeps my thoughts away from you for a few moments, yet when I'm all alone and quiet.. I think about you. I wonder if you are fast forwarded into the next life or in another parallel dimension, living with another me. My heart beat used to beat for you and it still beats for you. A dream with you in it makes me feel alive and truly happy like before, maybe even happier. I wish I could see your handsome face again, hear your beautiful voice again, see you flex those muscles again, let you tease me again, cheer me up when I'm sad, go for movies.. musicals, trainings and runs with me again. Take a bus ride like before again.. And do all the things we used to do again. I miss our past together, all the joy and happiness you have brought into my life.. I thank you baby, irregardless of how short the times were.. I thank you. I believe I can cope better now when I speak about you and tears no longer well up as easily as before, but the pain still tugs deep inside of me. If only there was an easier way out of this. If only I could talk to you again once more.

I miss you and I will love you like always till the day I breathe my last..

I'll always Rem the lyrics to this song that you used to sing to me.. It just relates so well to us.

"if you get there before I do, don't give up on me.. I'll meet you when my chores are through. I don't know how long I'll be here. But I'm not gonna let you down.. Darling wait and see. And between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you.. Love me"

Love you baby..
Debs